I'm sitting here in UVU computer lab and due to the fact that I do not want to relinquish my hold on the computer I am typing yet, another little note thingie.
Sigh. I need a life.
My brain is fried after finishing two of my four finals.
----Holy crap a campus police officer just walked past me and I almost wet my pants! I hope he didn't notice that I'm on not doing homework. Can you get arrested for that? Okay, good. He's gone. Phew!----
Anyway, so the first thing I thought of when I was cracking my fingers to start typing another masterpiece was the Olive Garden. Yes. The O.G. I think because I pretty much spend 95% of my life there that I have most of my experiences there. As time has gone on the experience are becoming more and more ridiculous. Anyone who's anyone will agree with me. (If not they will once they see my fist in their face.) :)
First off are the guests. I believe everyone should experience working in a restaurant because I have to deal with some really rude people who just don't have a clue.
Every day of my life there I observe/deal/sob/weep tears of blood/and pray that I don't have to take that table back. Or-please Dear Lord, don't let Pedro/Frank be the busser in my area tonight, I'm too tired to bus tables.
The first thoughts when approaching a couple or a group of guests to take them to a table in your area is: "Are they going to want a table or a booth?"
-if it's an elderly couple it's going to be a booth. If it's a younger teenage group stick 'em at a table and hope they don't have the courage to complain for a booth. If one doesn't say anything they usually don't have the guts to speak up.
-If it's a younger couple you might get lucky at putting them at a table. You have a 50/50 chance of them saying, "Um could we have that booth over there?" Which they really can't because there is not server on that table/the server has three tables already/it isn't washed.
Instead you have to smile and say, "Absolutely!" With a clenched smile that could crush their little pointing fingers into dust to make their bread sticks.
But you don't do that. EVER.
The guest must be happy. The guest must be satisfied or our scored will drop a-heaven forbid- 2%!
The most ridiculous guests are the ones that move ahead of you and pick out what table out of the entire restaurant that they want. We actually had a lady seat herself in a booth then move to the one RIGHT ACROSS from it and sit down. Five minutes later I walk by and she's moved back to the original booth. When I walked back she moved back to the other table. I started laughing because the experience was too impossible for words! I looked back again to see her move to the original spot one last time before her "Important meeting" came. The "Important meeting" was her husband. I couldn't believe it.
Another experience that happens often is trying to seat a couple at a half booth/half table. One side seats two at a booth the other side has two chairs. You set down the menus and they say, "Um, we want a whole booth."
Insert clenched smile.
You take them to a full booth and guess where they sit?
You got it. All on one side.
Seriously? You couldn't just sit on the one side with the table chairs across from you? No. You had to go off and make things more difficult for me because the server on your table already has three and can't serve you, so I have to hunt down another server to take you freaking picky people and actually serve you.
When you are the person in the front that takes down the name of the party and the # of people you deal with some of the most incompetent people alive.
I get two girls with a huge baby carrier walking in and they say, “Table for 2 please?”
Um. Where are you going to stick that baby? Under the table?
This happens ALL the time.
But it’s not just baby carriers. It’s preschool children too! I had a guy tell me a party of two and his wife was holding their five year old daughter! I raised my eyebrows and said, “You mean three, right?”
His wife laughed at him, but he just stuttered and said, “Actually two and a half.”
Okay, we’ll stick her in the place the halfs go I guess.
Then I get the insults.
I had this old man come up to me and say, “We have four adults, two high chairs and a booster seat.”
Wow. Can you make this anymore complicated sir? In my head I was seeing eight.
“Okay so you have eight, total?” He raises his hands and goes, “Hm, let’s see here. FOUR adults.” He raises four fingers. “TWO high chairs.” Two more pop up. “And one booster seat.” One more pops up. He looks at his fingers then at me. “Would you look at that? It’s seven!”
I was aghast. “I’m sorry I thought I heard three high chairs.”
He looked at me. “Looks like you need some college.”
Oh the nerve!
One day I will say something back and let them know that they aren’t allowed to speak to me that way. But until then I will vent online to relieve my inner anger.
Sigh. World peace people
