Politics brings out the worst in people.

Yesterday I had a friend on Facebook tag me in a Pro-Trump video and say, "Missy, you and your friends 😂👏🏼👏🏼" 

At first I just rolled my eyes and repeated to myself, "Don't engage. Don't engage." 

But as I watched the video and saw the uneducated democrats that were interviewed look like complete dumbasses give answers that had no information, I felt insulted and a little hurt. 

How convenient that the only people shown in the interview can't give a good argument in favor of their political standing. 

And this friend (and his girlfriend who was my old roommate up until a couple months ago) was inspired to tag me in this video and tell me it was me and my friends. Like my friends and I are complete dumbasses too stupid to know any information about what's going on in the U.S. to give a good counter argument as to why we don't support Trump or his policies.

It really hurt my feelings. 

I've never once tagged him, or anyone else I know by name that is a Trump supporter, in something to clearly insult and hurt. I'm not that kind of person. 

Yes, this election is emotionally charged on both sides, but we shouldn't let it turn us against each other or use it as an excuse to insult and demean. I don't support Trump, but that makes people assume I automatically support Hillary. 

Honestly, I'm a Bernie Sanders fan, but our choices are now between a man who has absolutely no political experience, doesn't respect women, shows the same sense of entitlement that people love to hate millennials for and is a racist. 

(When you say all Mexicans are rapists and criminals you are racist. Sorry, this election doesn't include take backsies.) 

When you say you got away with grabbing a women's pussy because you're rich- THAT IS ASSAULT. 

Clinton isn't much better imho. She tends to change her standing to get votes. Is she a criminal? Does she have the mostly republican congress in her pocket because she deleted a bunch of emails and got away with it? I don't know. It's hard to tell the truth because the media contradicts and spins so many stories in it's web it's hard to believe or trust anything you see and hear about anyone anymore. 

But one thing you can trust is: that if we, as a people, continued to hurt and degrade those that we know and those that we don't, we will continue to have these unqualified or "crappy" political candidates that actually seem to reflect our own nature in some ways. After all, we're the ones that helped them get to where they are now. We molded them in our society, while they were growing up and learning how to handle the world, to be people that want to win a reality tv popularity contest by throwing insults and gossip. I'm just expecting the Kardashians to pop in now. It's a freaking joke. 

We need to be better. 

A president won't make it better; congress wont make it better. 

It's us. The answer is us. We need to stop the hate. Stop the fear of that which is different, because different isn't always "wrong" or "bad." 

This nation hasn't lost God, it's lost it's humanity.

The future is now, but history will just keep repeating itself.

I woke up this morning thinking of the future and considering my options. I asked a friend at work the other night, what motivates her to get out of bed everyday in and day out. She told me that her kids are her reason to get up. 

I started tearing up and quietly asked, "but what if you don't have kids? What then? What do you do when you're drowning in the monotony of daily living and you don't even have the air to scream or the energy to cry for help?" 

She told me I needed to find something I loved, something I was passionate about. Something that would give me a reason to get up and start my day. I began to think about everything I had once loved and enjoyed doing: ballet, dancing, singing, reading, socializing, making new friends, writing, traveling, swimming...

But where those things once resided in my heart I now only felt exhaustion, emptiness, and dread at the thought of having to do anything besides get up, work, sleep, and survive the day. 

Maybe she saw the growing panic in my eyes or maybe she just saw how truly lost I felt inside, but she began to tell me that if Pokémon was all I had right now then to just, "freaking go for that dude. Be the very best." 

Of course I started laughing and crying at the same time (something I've been doing on a daily basis when the numbness I've constantly been feeling fades away for a minute) because I know I've been blowing up facebook with my obsession over Pokémon-Go. 

But even the excitement of the game is wearing off now and I'm slinking back into that hole in my mind where I can curl into a ball and not be bothered with the problems of the living. 

I'm constantly bombarded by things in the media, on Facebook and other websites, that millennials have this sense of entitlement. Or that the economy was screwed before we even had the chance to grow up. 

Well, I feel that I've reached the adult phase where I should have my shit together, but I don't even have the energy to get my clean socks together and put them away. 

How am I supposed to thrive and find purpose in my life when I'm constantly told that all the things I used to love and enjoy don't offer well paid jobs? Or my university doesn't have that specific program, so pick another one.

I'm stuck in the mud and I can't move forward or backward. Everywhere I look there is hate. Our very own presidential election has turned into a reality tv popularity show starring rapists, criminals and liars. The only person missing is Morey telling Trump how many children he has fathered without realizing it and a cat fight between Hillary and Trump's wife to break out onstage. 

It's a joke. It's all a joke, but it isn't funny. No one is laughing. I'm not laughing. I want to just turn it off, but it isn't that easy. This isn't some silly show on tv that has paid actors. This is real life. This is the country I live in. These people who I see in both political parties that are screaming hate and hurting each other through their abhorrent actions isn't funny to me. 

It saddens me that we have reached a point in history where the media feeds and gains viewers through its focus on inciting unrest through fear and anger. 

In an era where we are more connected than ever through applications, emails, facebook and other related things; instead of uniting together as humans for a better world, we are divided by race, gender, religion, nationalism, capitalism, fear, and hate.

Something is wrong. I can feel it in my bones. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix my own life. But others must see this too. Others that want change; want hope. Because power in the wrong hands leading a people filled with complacency and silence will never change anything.