Turtle Mode

I guess family things here are a lot like family gatherings in the States.  Everyone is outside running around trying to get the food ready. Random aunts and uncles are talking in groups and the people that don't really know anyone/are introverts/feel awkward hide in a random room doing random things cause they're bored.

Take a wild guess as to which group I am in.

Yup, I am in the awkward group hiding in a random bedroom with the kiddies and my host sister's boyfriend Gustavo.

When the anniversary funeral procession came into the house grounds like a small parade with a mariachi band playing (I guess the priest forgot to show up at the church for the service. The family was freaking out.)

My host family took some Goblet of Fire thing that was billowing smoke and had the smoke blow on this flower wreath thing in the shape of a cross. My host niece Diana and I were in charge of lighting candle sticks and handing them out to everyone.

We fucked that up pretty fast. We lost the box of matches and I still don't know where they went...

We then retreated to the bedroom with hot chocolate. Gustavo, Jesus, and little Vanessa soon joined us and we all piled on the bed, bored out of our minds because there was no Wi-Fi. We ended up doing cartwheels and I tried teaching Jesus how to do a proper one. He was just starting to get the hang of it when my host mom came in and got mad at me for hiding. So, I had to go outside and help serve tables bread and coffee to everyone, much to my dismay. (my calling in life is to be a server-I swear)


I felt so stupid being the only blonde white girl in a huge group of Mexicans, asking people if they wanted more conchas in my crappy Spanish. Everyone kept looking at me and asking me where I was from. It's embarrassing all this attention I am getting. I don't know how to handle it. It makes me feel so shy. In Utah I'm just an average girl. Nothing special. But here in Mexico my blonde hair and blue eyes are seen as exotic, something alluring and desirable. I hate standing out, I just want to blend in here. I'm tempted to dye my hair brown again so I can fly under the radar.

A guy at one of the tables started trying to speak to me in English (kind of making fun of me) and I responded in kind in Spanish and basically said, "You speak English? Cool story bro." and walked away.



After I finished serving everyone, I retreated again into the bedroom only to have Diana and Gustavo laugh at me for getting roped into having to help.

BAH.

I then started chatting with my host brother who came down from Mexico City for the party and I totally forgot his name (it's Pedro by the way) and I awkwardly said, "Well Pedro. I'd vote for you."

He kinda laughed, so maybe he has seen Napoleon Dynamite? I honestly doubt it though...

-Pedro offers you his protection.

The night ended with my host dad taking me around introducing me to everyone as his Gringa Hija and kept making me quack at these two old guys. I think their nicknames are Quack Quack and the other dude's is Qui Qui? I dunno, but all I know is that when my host dad points to one and asks who he is, I say Quack Quack or Qui Qui and everyone bursts out laughing.

I  honestly have no idea what in the world is going on.

WTF Mexico.

#yolojesusswag

Religion is weird.

I have come to this realization.

All organized religions are full of really strange and creepy messed up stuff if you look at them in the right light.

My new host family has been planning this big shindig for the year anniversary of the grandmother’s death for MONTHS now. They literally have made invitations, bought all these flowers, took all the food stuff to Pueblo (where the dead grandma’s house is) to prepare it all. There is this GIANT pot thing full of some soupy sauce substance that I suspect COULD be Mole, but I’m not sure. They have propped it up on these bricks and put hot coals underneath it. Leaves from the trees keep blowing into it and I try not to think too deeply about eating it later…cause there ARE giant basil looking leaves already in it, so…

My host sister saw a leaf blow into the soup mole stuff and was like, “Oh no!” she hurried and snatched it out, looked up at the sky wondering where it came from, looked at me and said something in Spanish that maybe meant, “Ah, eff it. There are leaves in there already. It belongs.”

AND PUT IT BACK IN!

I kinda took a little nap in one of the side rooms cause I got bored. I think my other host sister is a little annoyed at me for it. Whelp yolo.

I got up and stirred said Mole for like 5 minutes trying to be all: hey! I’m here! I’m contributing to I’m not really sure what, but please don’t hate me for falling asleep!

They have made some sort of floral arrangement around a pic of the grandma and a giant-ass statue of the Virgin Mary. It’s pretty cool actually. There are candles lit inside the house by like 4 different statues reenacting the crucifixion and there are also several pictures of Jesus crying with thorns on his head. There is also one picture of Jesus partying with his homies one last night with all this food at the table and his hands are spread out like, “Look at all the fucks I give.” as he laughs yolo in the face.

Still. Pretty morbid. Makes me wonder if I will ever have a set religion. Mormonism sucks and isn’t true. Research kind of blew that one out of the water for me. Catholicism is a bit morbid and I don’t believe saying a certain amount of Hail Marys is going to help save my soul. Plus, The Crusades. (and I’m not diggin’ naked bleeding Jesus all splayed out on the cross.)

I think I am at the point now where I think all religions have good qualities, but are just kinda psycho. Kind of like your crazy Aunt Pearl your family doesn’t really talk about much. You laugh and smile and make polite conversation during holidays when you see her, but you don’t ask her for too many details of her life cause you really don’t wanna know what is going  on up in that head of hers.

 Also, follow the money trail. Money, greed, power and control are ALL present in large organized religions. And sorry, I’m not buying into something that wants my money for their benefit disguised as giving to the poor and needy.

So, I think I’ll just continue stumbling around like the town drunk, looking for truth and finding the crazy instead.

Maybe the only truth there is in life is that there is NO truth.

Only small truths you believe in and hold onto at night, so as not to feel like you are freefalling into nothing.

For the purpose of nothing.