I know it's late and I really should be sleeping, but for some odd reason my body is saying no to sleep at the moment. So, I'm taking advantage of this laps of sanity and writing what first came to my mind as I lay here in my current state...
I wish I had that laughing gas drug the dentist gave me the other day to help me sleep.
Seriously though! That stuff is like grade A excellontae drugs! When I first came to the office- after finally being freed from my braces that I'd been imprisoned with the last three and a half freaking years of my life- I was relieved to have the dentist appointment out of the way. But upon further investigation the result showed up positive. My toothbrush couldn't reach certain parts of my teeth that my braces blocked and I was labeled caviticious.
Epic sigh.
So in I came a couple weeks later back to the tortuous place of my childhood. The minute I walked in I was greeted by...the smell. You know the one, super clean-like the doctors office-but it has that underlying scent of DENTIST. It immediately had my legs trembling.
I am such a pansy.
I sat down and started flipping through a magazine, not really reading the pages, just praying to God that I wasn't the next victim to be called past The Door. When The Door did open, the person called was some poor kid who looked a little green around the edges.
I felt bad, but I was so glad it wasn't me.
As time ticked by I realized I would be called eventually. That's when I started to pray for courage and full mouth paralysis so I didn't have to feel the shot. My prayer was answered in the most strange way!
Drugs. And they were LEGAL!
As I shakily sat down on The Chair I couldn't help but think that cruel and unusual punishment went against my rights as an American Individual. Then, the nice nurse lady asked me if I wanted the gas. I was like, sure why not?
How could I have missed this stuff?
Holy freaking cow! She put this huge nose thing on my face that pushed this yummy smelling berry air up my nose. At first I kinda freaked out at this monstrosity on my face, but then the drugs kicked in....
I was gazing at the ceiling thinking about how much it reminded me of the coral reef in Australia. Then I thought, I want to go there and see SpongeBob in real life! He's my friend...everyone is my friend!
That's when the giggles started.
I see now why they call it laughing gas.
I was trying to keep it quiet, but I couldn't stop giggling! I was floating on a cloud, but my body felt like lead. I was a real life oxymoron! More giggles came from that thought too. I lay there tripping out and starting to fall asleep when I heard The Dentist sneak in. Immediately I was awake, thinking about the shot and how scared I was before. But the gas was making my brain all foggy, I couldn't move right, or think straight. What was the dentist again? Who was I? And where did SpongeBob go? That coward!
Then there was the pain. The never ending "little twinge" that came with the horrendous needle. I started to whimper due to my loss of inhibitions. The nice nurse lady started baby talking me. "It's alright, you're doing a great! Good job!"
Gosh, it's a darn good thing I'm drugged right now or I'd stuff this needle down your gums. I couldn't help but think. I'm not a child. Then, I felt a little guilty cause in my drugged state, the encouragement kind of helped. With her nice child-like words I felt a little better.
I could do this! I was drugged and thus I was invincible! Yeah!
I closed my eyes and just road the wave until it was all over. The only problem when I woke up was how to get my next fix and learning how to walk again....
Walls aren't yielding nice things.
Sigh. I could use another hit.
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