So as I was driving home today from work on roads of pure ice, I realized something....I have had some pretty death-defying experiences! Don't assume though that they are all crazy superspazmatic exciting though. Sometimes they were simple things...Like escaping my mom wielding a spatula or my brother with a pair of stinky socks. These are however, in and of themselves death-defying. Don't you think?
1. This one time I was having a sleepover with my best friend Karen Roper. We decided to borrow a movie from my friend down the street. So, at like 10:00pm, we go waltzing down the road laughing and goofing off when I see this HUGE dog just ahead in the neighbor's yard. I slowed down trying to figure out what kind of dog it was when I realized it was a COUGAR!
I stopped dead in my tracks and my arm flew out to stop my friend. I started whispering "There is a cougar up there, back away slowly." And I start to back up as quietly as possible. My friend-being the extremely awesome person that she is- was all: "Huh? What?" Kinda loudly. I shhhh-ed her and continued my chant of "Back away slowly." When I lost sight of the cougar in some bushes, I ran.
I have never ran so fast in my entire life, let me just tell you.
Every step I took, every heartbeat I had I could feel the cougar chasing me, getting ready to pounce...Then there it was! The front door! I burst through it, and skidded into my parents room gasping for air.
"There is a COUGAR IN HALL'S YARD!" I wheezed as loud as I could. My parent's stopped reading their books and looked at me. "Where's Karen?" I totally froze. "Oh shoot. Um, she didn't run fast enough?"
Right when I said this though there was a loud SLAM! Karen comes staggering into the room and points a finger at me and growls: "YOU! You left me to be EATEN!!
Let's just say that we locked the doors that night. We never did find that cougar though. But I escaped death from Karen!
2. When I was little I was attacked my friend's Dalmatian. I was hurt pretty bad, but I recovered and I love dogs now! Weird huh? I didn't even lose my finger!
3. My mom once found out I had some dirt on her that I got from my Aunt and she flipped out cause she wanted to know what I knew and started to strangle me-not in a killer kind of way, more like a motherly way....? Anyways, she threatened to rip my braces off and all kinds of bodily harm but I never caved. ha ha.
4. I jumped down a whole flight of stairs chasing my sister cause she stole my Doritoes. NOBODY steals my Doritoes! After jumping down them a couple times, I ended up landing wrong and broke my leg. It was pretty cool. Hurt though...
5. When I was like nine I was almost kidnapped at Walmart. The tapes of the Safety Kids my mom made me listen to were the things that saved me ha ha. I ended up hiding in a group of ladies from this guy and got away.
6. I got hit by a car. Ha ha (This is a slight exaggeration, but not really!)
7. I have held twelve wine glasses in my hands and didn't drop one! *knocks on wood*
8. I survived girls camp.
9. I survived Jr. High.
10. I survived my sister Savannah's attacks. ( When we were little) Though I bear scars.
11. I was nearly electrocuted by our TV.
12. And lastly that I can think of, I was hit in the forehead by a swing see-saw thing. I have a dent in my forehead and everything! You can't really tell unless I scrunch my forehead, but it's still there. I think I passed out from it, but I can't remember much. All I see is a bench swinging towards my head. And that's it.
If I remember anymore I'll post 'em. Ha ha
Oh wait! My brother once got really mad at me and threw a glass at my head and it hit me in the forehead. (What's up with my head? Geeze!) It totally cut open and was gushing blood everywhere. I still have this scar on my face too.
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